Analyze This.

*this is a peek into the mind of the author, bear with him.

it's 2 in the morning and I'm still not in the mood to sleep. A lot of things in my mind, a lot of things i want answered, but i guess its better not to ask. I'm trippin', so as Gino says. Yes, I am. Dammit. And i don't know what for. I tell myself: "just stop, stop this, you're running into a brick wall", but stopping it is like not breathing or not eating. Even though it's against the odds, maybe 1 in a million, maybe that 1 would be it. maybe not.

big brown eyes, unruly hair, the duck walk, the unexplainable charm. Oh, i miss it all. But don't get me wrong, i just miss it, nothing more, nothing less. It's just that nothing will ever be that "unexplainable" thing in my life. There will only be one, but I'm not saying there won't be someone to surpass all those, you get the point.

I stop. for a while, let me be romantic. dream. it's nine pm and no one would expect a visitor that late, the day's practically ending and the night's culling you to bed. Hear your phone and your doorbell ringing at the same time, you pick up your phone and head for the door. It's me, saying I'm here outside, come out. You come and see me there, two dozen roses in hand and at my best.

back to reality. that won't be possible in a while. I'm too Idealistic, but i guess it's better that seeing all the negative side of things. I wonder why i stare out the window of a moving car so much, maybe because it's when i start to think, start to make sense of things happening around me. Philosophies, Rules and Regulations, these are just guidelines, it's up to me to break them for the better. read this: i have no tricks up my sleeve, I'm not a magician or an illusionist. Never been.

college coming up, maybe we'd forget all these. maybe I'd look back and say: "oh yes, i knew that person". I don't want that. but if it's whats bound to happen, than let it be.

still have to get that "thing" for that. haha. analyze this!

JudgeMental

Keyboard on Freestyle Mode.

Rain pouring outside, the eerie sound of the fan and my heart beating so fast. Loss for words and sense, but full of pride to go with it. My throat feels like screaming again, itching to say what i want to say. Maybe. Maybe not. Pick it up, start again. Give it all then just sit there see it fall. Like a plane crashing, like glass breaking. I don't know. I don't know where this is coming from. Tell me where.

I feel like fighting, feel like killing something or someone. I hope not, I'm not known for that, or am i? honestly, i don't know what I'm known for right now. As far as i heard, I'm a lying, cheating, dirty guy. I'll take that. I'll take it. Just keep silent, i won't speak in my defense. It's their opinion, no offense taken..
Just really really hurt. But i can't let that stop me, got to live my life.

What i really can't stand is someone very special to me gets affected. I may not be special to that person but i don't want that person to slip away. I'm just hoping that everything would turn out alright. I have never pretended and i have never been anyone else. I am me. What you see is what you get, because i never pretend to be someone I'm not.

"you know me better than they do. I don't care about what they think or say about me, i only care about what YOU think. that's all that matters to me."

i want to tell her that.

Rain stopped. Only tears remain.

Shoot to Kill

This is Sad, real Sad. Reality Bites. Big time. 10 people were killed in Rizal Commercial Banking Corporation (RCBC) branch in Laguna, Philippines. May 16, 2008. During a bank robbery. All of the victims were shot to the head by a single, point-blank bullet. Yes, point-blank. As i can picture the scene from reports, some of them were lined up and one by one shot in the head. Sounds familliar? Same scene from the Columbine High School Massacre where the victims were allegedly lined up and killed. The twist in the Massacre was they had a question to answer, "Do you Believe in God?", the "no" answer might save your life, if you give the "yes" answer, then you'll get shot in the head. Cassie Bernall was one of the ones who said yes. This was the inspiration behind the song Cassie by Flyleaf. It's sad to know what the world has come to, this is a sign of the times, a sign that we're doing something wrong. As if Robbery wasn't enough, they still had to kill the defenseless people inside the bank.

One more incident that happened here in Laguna was a massacre that occured in Calamba City on May 19, 2008. 8 people were killed, including children, shot by a lone gunman. The said motive behind the killing was it was just mere rage that drove him to kill the family. It was said that 2 children of the 8 people that were killed was locked in an embrace as they were repeatedly shot. This is just inhuman. Just terrible. The gunman was killed 2 days after, he was still carrying the M-16 rifle that he used to kill the family.

Justice will be served. Uhm, eventually. I hope so.
Please pray for them.
Condolences to the family of the victims.
My heart mourns your loss.
God Bless. Keep Safe.

Above The Influence.

Stagnant, scared and excited. This is how i feel. college coming up, and real life is on the edge. No more second chances, no more second thoughts. I'll do my best, no excuses, none at all. This will define my future, my dreams, i must not make a mistake. I'll be studying in Colegio De San Juan De Letran - Calamba, taking up Computer Engineering. I have so many goals to set for myself, challenge myself to do better everytime. Give me your doubts and I'll prove them wrong. I want to be the best that i can be, set myself apart from all of them. I won't blend in, I'll stand out. Impossible as it may seem, i'll do my best.

But then again, i won't be the nerdy, bookworm type. I'll still keep my social life in check. "it's all about balance", some college people gave me this advice. I want to meet new people, new friends and experience new things. Well, new GOOD things, not vices and bad influences. No amount of peer pressure will break me down. i remember a verse in the bible that states: "do not conform to the pattern of this world" in Romans 12:2. If this world's standards are drugs, sex and alcohol, then don't follow it. It'll only ruin my life, my chance to be successful in College.

Be above the influence of Drugs, Sex and Alcohol. Fight the wrong system. Never give in and never give up. You'll get nothing out of it. No one will ever win in the end. It maybe fun and cool to look at, but after all these, what is the real essence of it? None. My High School friends have dubbed me as a "goody too shoes" or a "kill-joy" because i refuse to join their vices when they invite me to try smoking or taking "weed". I have tried encouraging them to stop but my efforts are futile. I have lost an uncle (two uncles, actually) due to drugs. No one will benefit from all of these. It will just destroy lives and the minds of the Young. Please help by supporting anti-drug groups like Above the Influence and other anti-vices groups. As a mere freshman, i want to make a change, make a stand. I don't want to be underestimated. I want to save people from these influences in my own little way. I suggest you do the same.

Seniors Batch 2007-2008, let's show them what we've got, shall we? =]
Be Above The Influence and Make a Stand.
Good Luck! and God Bless! =]

*Special thanks to Melissa Vega. =P

Condolences.

Beloved,
you have left this world.
You spoke your last breath
and said your last word.
Prayers for the faithful departed,
thank you, from you i have learned.
From life's path you've parted,
I'll patiently wait for your return.

Ever Dearest,
no one can replace you, you remain here in my heart.
You may not be here right now,
but you were there from the start.
I miss your presence, hoping we'd be together again.
All the stories, the lessons and the laughter,
how i wish it never came to an end.

* In loving memory of Jose Elpidio O. Isip 1922 - 2002. Rest In Peace.

* Dedicated to all those who've lost their loved ones.